Sober Now – Letter To Addiction | Lake Arrowhead Recovery Center

It can be therapeutic to write a letter to your addiction
Writing about your addiction is therapeutic. Writing a letter to your addiction can be a great emotional release

It’s known that writing is therapeutic for many individuals. Writing enables you to get in touch with your feelings, your thoughts, both good and bad. For some, including myself it is much easier to write words down on a piece of paper rather than to voice my feelings and thoughts to another person. Even though I am sober now, I still feel more comfortable writing. A letter is personal. No one else even has to know about it. Writing a letter to addiction can clear your mind of all the horrible things you have done, the people you have hurt, and the pain that you have had to bear. When you get sober or are sober now – it’s a way to get those secrets out. To clear your mind of the guilt and shame you are still carrying around.

Write your own letter to addiction. It can be long or short, doesn’t matter. Once you start to write, the words will simply flow. Writing a letter to addiction will help you better understand your addiction and why you need to choose or why you chose recovery. Writing this down will help you in your sobriety. Trust me, give it a try.

My Letter To Addiction

Addiction,

There used to be a time when you were my best friend, my lover, my partner, my higher power, my universe.

You made me think I was amazing, unstoppable, even invincible. The feeling you gave me, words will never describe.

You, addiction will be a part of me, always and forever. Isn’t that what you wanted? I will never be able to forget you.

You took me places that I never imagined. You continued to take me places that I didn’t want to go. Places where no girl should ever be.

You never took me any place nice.
Prison
Rehabs
Institutions
Hospitals
We lost our home. We had to resort to being homeless and living under a bridge. You were alright with that. Truth be told, it was what I wanted at the time too. There was no rent to pay, no bills, no worry of being evicted. We didn’t have to share our dope.

Of course, we had no food, electricity, showers, or the essentials required for living. I couldn’t take it anymore but, you were satisfied. We had our drugs. That’s all we needed at the time.

Together, you and I. That’s it, no one else. Any other person that made their way into our life was nothing more than a simple pawn. A person to supply us with what we needed.

I lost my friends, my family. I even gave up my children for you. My children? Little babies that needed their mother but, I chose you. Still, for you, that was not enough,

I tried to break up with you, time and time again but, each time I failed miserably. I always came right back and there you were. Waiting with open arms and that devilish grin.

As time went on, it was clear to see what you really were. A narcissist that had complete power and absolute control over me. You were convincing, I give you that. I felt as if I was nothing. You were all I had so, I obeyed your every command. I listened to every thought you put in my head. Even though my insides trembled everytime I fulfilled a request.

You had me lie, steal, manipulate others, sell my body, and do everything and anything to get what it was we wanted. To get the thing I desired most. The thing that kept us alive and kept me glued to you. The drugs.

Thankfully, after what seemed like a lifetime, I finally awoke from my drug induced slumber. Although it seemed impossible to do, I did it. I left. I finally left you behind and moved on.

Now, I have a new life with recovery. I am clean and sober now. I spend all my time with recovery and learning how to cope without using drugs.

Yet, still, you will not leave me alone. How come every time I decide to move on, you can’t stand it? Addiction, you have so many other relationships. You have numerous people that will never leave your side. Why can’t you just leave me be?

Even though I am sober now, you are still lingering in the back of my mind, in my thoughts, in my dreams, and I wake up screaming at night with nightmares of you.

They told me you would never leave easily. Everyone who helps me or has been in a relationship with you has told me how hard it is to permanently walk away. They are right.

I will be fighting for the rest of my life not to take you back. I will be fighting for my new life in recovery because it is that much better being sober now. My relationships are now healthy, my children need me, I am beginning a career, I am healing and I am happy. I’ve been able to truly embrace life without you. Sober is better. Living a life in recovery is remarkable.

You told me I didn’t deserve to live, to be happy. You said I didn’t deserve respect or love. Recovery has opened my eyes. Sober now, I am finding myself, I am able to discover who I truly am. He shows me that I deserve to be happy and to have it all.

I do love you and a part of me always will. That is why I can never say hello or see how you are doing. Right now, I am not strong enough to see you nor do I want to. In fact, I will stay away from you forever.

The relationship we shared was not love. It was not one of mutual respect and understanding. I never want to go back to living like that again.

I am sober now, living my life, and working a program of recovery. It is where I should be. The only regret I have is that it took me so long to get here.

This is goodbye and I pray that you stop and quit moving on to the next individual. Don’t make anyone else suffer as you did to me.

Addiction you are a disease. All that’s left to say is never again, never again will I go back to you.

Signed,
Moved On

This is the first letter to addiction I wrote. I wrote it as a breakup letter. Think about it. Your drug addiction is your other half. It never leaves your side. When I decided to get clean and work the program, I broke up with my addiction and chose to live sober in recovery. That is only one way to view it. You can write your letter any way you choose. Have you started writing your letter to addiction? I promise it will not only ease your mind of the lingering thoughts you have but, writing this letter is also a major step in working on your own recovery. You are headed in the right direction. Keep up the good work and don’t give up now. The miracle is happening.

Staying Sober Is Hard | Lake Arrowhead Recovery Center

Finding Motivation To Stay Sober
Addiction has changed you, but recovery will change you. Find out who you truly are. You are capable of reaching your full potential in recovery.

Staying Sober Is Hard | Finding Your Sober Motivation

Recovery is a lifelong process and living a life staying sober is the ultimate commitment. There is more to recovery than simply being abstinent from drugs. You must have the resources, tools, support, coping skills, professional treatment, and the proper mindset. After all, initially getting sober is the easy part, staying sober is hard. Much harder than you may think. The most important factor in achieving complete sobriety is the motivation behind it all. Why do you want to be sober? The answer might seem obvious but, you really need to want it. Every part of your being has to be committed to changing your lifestyle. You need to have the motivation to get sober and to stay sober. If someone is to ask what motivated you to make this change, what would you say? Do you know what your answer would be? What is your sober motivation?

Find Your Sober Motivation

What is sober motivation? Motivation is the driving force that turns your thoughts into action. Think about what inspires you to live a sober life. What factors in your life have driven you to make this decision?

Think about that moment of clarity when you know that you are ready to stop using. Now is the time for you to make the change from addiction to recovery. Whether your life is just beginning to fall apart or you have hit rock bottom, it has become clear that you are now ready.

You have made the official decision to say goodbye to the drugs, to your addiction, and you want help. No more chaos, no more pain, and no more unhappiness. Furthermore, you want to live a sober lifestyle, to be clean and to start over. You are now ready to start fresh in a new life of sobriety.

But why? What is the motivation behind this life altering decision?

Staying sober is hard - finding your sober motivation
You can not get clean for somebody else. Staying sober is hard – do it because you want it.

 

Sobriety is Selfish

While in treatment, you will hear time and time again that you have to want it. You have to get clean because you want to. You can not get clean for somebody else. Do it because you want it. Let me tell you, staying sober is hard for anyone and if you are not all in, then it’s not going to work. Plain and simple. Every part of you has to want it and be ready and willing to change – mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Although, you are not your motivation. Your motivation for wanting to get sober and stay sober can come from a number of things. You need something that motivates you to change your entire life. After all, being a recovering addict instead of in active addiction is a complete lifestyle change.

Sobriety is selfish in the sense that it’s all about you, but the motivation behind wanting to be in sobriety doesn’t have to be all about you. There are many different circumstances that motivate people to begin their recovery journey. One of those reasons may also be your sober motivation.

Motivating Factors To Be Sober

  • Marriage. 
It is no secret that addiction can put a strain on your marriage. Trust is broken, infidelity may have taken place, lies, heartache, and so on. Addiction can affect a person’s marriage greatly. If addiction is the underlying problem in your marriage. Try getting clean instead of getting a divorce. It very well could be the solution to your marital strife.
  • Children. 
Not only can your addiction put a strain on your marriage but, it can hurt your children as well. Depending on your child’s age, the potential harm a child faces can traumatize a child for life. If old enough, they could become addicts themselves. In many cases, addict parents even lose custody of their children, sometimes permanently.
  • Work/Career. 
Addiction greatly affects your behavior and appearance in the workplace. It could jeopardize your job or chances for an amazing career. Once addiction deepens, many addicts can not even hold a steady job. If you are lucky enough to still be employed, try to fix the situation while it is still possible.
  • Legal. 
Unfortunately, legal issues go hand in hand with drug addiction. Addicts will commit crimes to get money for the drugs that they need. Addicts may face probation, parole, house arrest, loss of license, and even prison time. Legal issues can follow you and affect other areas of your life as well.
  • Health. 
Clearly, addiction affects your health, so needing to improve your health could easily be your motivation for getting clean. Drinking alcohol or using any illegal drugs not only diminishes your well being, but can cause you to contract diseases and destroy your body’s ability to properly function.
  • Better Life. 
All of these reasons are motivation to living a better life, but maybe the thought of a better life is the original motivation for your sobriety. While it may seem selfish to some, it’s a fabulous and justified reason. Being in recovery can and will improve every aspect of your life

The number of reasons that motivate one to be in active recovery instead of active addiction are endless. Your motivation can be one reason or all of these reasons combined. Overall, every inspirational factor leads to the ultimate motivation. The yearning to live a more desirable and fulfilling life.

Friends, family and career can be motivations to stay sober
Being in recovery can and will improve every aspect of your life

Staying Sober Is Hard, Especially In The Beginning

You take on sobriety with a driving force, an unstoppable willpower, and personal incentive. While the very beginning of your sobriety, detox, and treatment will seem difficult, you must remember that the fight of your life has just begun. Your sobriety is a never ending battle.

Staying sober is hard, very hard. Especially, during the first year. There are millions of obstacles and issues that you must face.

  • Wreckage of The Past – Your problems won’t simply disappear, you must face them accordingly.
  • Sober Lifestyle – Creating a new life. A life without the use of drugs, you need coping skills and structured support. Your dreams are now achievable in recovery. Although, to accomplish your goals, you must become productive in life and in sobriety. It requires hard work and dedication.
  • People, Places, and Things – Changing people, places, and things are crucial to your recovery. If you do the same things with the same people, in the same places. What did you change? Nothing. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results.
  • Self Discovery – Addiction has changed you for the worse, but recovery will change you for the better. Finally, you can work on finding out who you truly are. You are capable of reaching your full potential as an amazing person in recovery.

It is true, staying sober is hard. Yet, the longer you stay clean and work on your recovery. Then, the more benefits you will reap. With each step and each day, your life will improve and your motivation to stay clean will grow stronger and stronger.

Eventually, sobriety will come naturally. Fighting for your recovery with strength and courage will come from deep within you. You will not think that staying sober is hard anymore. You will be living a sober lifestyle. Living as a productive individual who is inspired, empowered, and motivated in your recovery. Even though you may think that staying sober is hard, remember, you are worth it.

We want to know what motivates you. Why did you choose recovery?. What is your sober motivation?

10 Tips For Staying Sober At Parties This Summer

10 Tips for Staying Sober At Parties In Summer
Here are some of the best tips for staying sober at parties this summer.

Summer is now here.  The sun shines all day and the nights are filled with excitement, making it the perfect time of year to socialize, entertain, and to finally let loose.  From graduation parties to backyard barbecues and neighborhood cookouts to late night bonfires, it’s time to have some fun.  Living in sobriety does not mean your social life has to end.  All it means is that your lifestyle does not involve drugs or alcohol anymore. So, we are here to help you have the best summer ever. Here are some of the best tips for staying sober at parties this summer.  No need to worry, we’ve got you covered.

Sober parties in recovery
Going to parties with your sober friends, sponsor, or other people in recovery can make a huge difference.

Whether you are going to a family reunion or on vacation to kick back and relax, you are bound to witness drinking and drugging at parties and events this summer.   That does not mean you have to participate in those activities.  Who made the rule that you have to be high in order to have fun?  You can still be the life of the party without being stoned or tipsy. In fact, you will actually remember everything that happens.  Being sober is the perfect time to make those memories that you will never forget.  Here is what you have been waiting for: the 10 best tips for staying sober at parties all summer long.    

10 Tips For Staying Sober At Parties

  1. Use The Buddy System.To make you feel more comfortable, take a friend with you.  It’s known as the buddy system.  Having a sober friend by your side can be an enormous help if you happen to get yourself in an unpleasant situation.  Not only can you hold each other accountable but, you got each other’s back just in case one of you may be tempted to do something you would later regret.
  2. People, Places, and Things.There is a valid reason for everything that you learn in addiction recovery treatment.  Especially, when they tell you to change people, places, and things.  Although, for some people changing all of those things is not even possible. Not everyone can just pick up and relocate. You may have a family of your own, kids have school, job security, and so much more.  That being said,  if you are still living in the same place, be responsible and use common sense.

    For example, don’t go to a party if a known dealer will be present.  If you are a recovering alcoholic, you should stay away from bars.  Don’t go to any place where you are certain people are going to be publicly using drugs.  This stands true for addicts in every phase of recovery. Do not put yourself in a bad situation from the beginning.  It’s a relapse waiting to happen.

  3. Designated DriverUse your sobriety responsibly.  If you are at a party and you have friends that are under the influence.  Don’t let them drive.  Name yourself the designated driver.  Not only can this save their life but, it could also save an innocent passerby from a horrific situation.  By now, everyone should know the importance of not driving while drunk or under the influence of drugs.

    If you have a friend that thinks they are above everyone else and can drive impaired.  Do your best to stop them from leaving but, don’t put yourself in jeopardy.  The people that do let you drive them home will hail you as their hero.  That is a great feeling.

  4.  Ask QuestionsI want you to think back to your childhood days for a moment. Remember, back in the day when you had to ask your parents for permission to go to a friend’s house or to a classmate’s party?  Well, I want you to approach this the exact same way.  Ask the host of the party all the questions you can think of.

    Who’s going to be there?
    Where is the event taking place?
    Will there be drinking?
    Will there be drugs?

     

  5. Sober Drink

    This is a simple trick to use if you are at a party that involves alcohol. People will continuously offer you a drink.  So, instead of repeating yourself all night long, try this simple trick.  Make yourself a non-alcoholic drink at the start of the party.  So, when people offer you a drink, you say “No thanks, I got one”.
    As a bonus tip, don’t let anyone get you a non-alcoholic drink, you could be in for a not so nice surprise.
  6.  Exit StrategyThis is one of the most important tips for staying sober at parties and it is essential to your recovery.  Always have an exit strategy mapped out and be ready to use it.  If you feel super uncomfortable or begin to feel triggered to use then, there is only one thing you can do.  Leave. Simply, just leave.
  7.  Be PreparedNot only do you have to have a quick exit plan ready but you need to prepare yourself.  This is another one of the most essential tips for staying sober at parties.  If you are not fully prepared for what is about to come then, you could easily relapse.  People are going to offer you drinks and possibly other substances.  If you refuse, they are going to ask why.  It is your choice if you want to explain your recovery or not. Some people will be happy for you while other’s may feel offended.  If that happens, it is best to use your exit strategy and remove yourself from the party.  If you choose to stay, people will continuously bother you with offers and questions throughout the night.
  8. New To RecoveryWithout a doubt, the first year in recovery is the hardest. Don’t set yourself up for failure or a potential relapse.  Stay focused on your main goal, your top priority, which is staying clean.  If you are at a party and you see drugs and alcohol then it’s best to immediately leave to ensure the safety of your sobriety.
  9. SupportHave your sponsor’s or a sober friend’s number on speed dial.  Call or text them if you have any urges, triggers, or feelings to discuss. Sometimes it’s nice just to hear that familiar voice of someone you know that is doing amazing things in recovery to put you back in the right state of mind.

    If the party is simply too much, then use your exit strategy and go home.  Pick up the phone and go to a meeting.  There are even meetings you can attend online.

  10. You Are Not AlonePlease remember, you are not alone.  I guarantee there will be at least one other person at the party who is not using drugs or drinking alcohol.  There are many more people in recovery than you probably realize.  Trust me, you are not the only one.

     

    Sober Activities for Summer
    Coming up with activities and getting creative with your sobriety can be fun and the memories will actually last forever.

    Party Sober!

It would make perfect sense to avoid these types of events altogether. Unfortunately for people in recovery, drugs and alcohol are everywhere.  People drink a glass of wine or have a beer to unwind in the evening.  Teens and young adults smoke marijuana regularly.  You could walk into a public restroom and see people using illegal substances.  You can’t spend your life hiding. Especially since you are now truly living. Implement these tips for staying sober at parties and you will stay true to your recovery.

Don’t think your life is over since you are now in recovery.  In fact, take advantage of all that sobriety has to offer.  Get a sponsor and home group.  NA and AA host tons of events and parties throughout the year. So, don’t hold back.  Most importantly, be safe and have fun. I hope these 10 tips for staying sober at parties will make this summer the best yet.  Always be prepared and you will be ready if the situation arises.