Staying Sober Is Hard | Lake Arrowhead Recovery Center

Finding Motivation To Stay Sober
Addiction has changed you, but recovery will change you. Find out who you truly are. You are capable of reaching your full potential in recovery.

Staying Sober Is Hard | Finding Your Sober Motivation

Recovery is a lifelong process and living a life staying sober is the ultimate commitment. There is more to recovery than simply being abstinent from drugs. You must have the resources, tools, support, coping skills, professional treatment, and the proper mindset. After all, initially getting sober is the easy part, staying sober is hard. Much harder than you may think. The most important factor in achieving complete sobriety is the motivation behind it all. Why do you want to be sober? The answer might seem obvious but, you really need to want it. Every part of your being has to be committed to changing your lifestyle. You need to have the motivation to get sober and to stay sober. If someone is to ask what motivated you to make this change, what would you say? Do you know what your answer would be? What is your sober motivation?

Find Your Sober Motivation

What is sober motivation? Motivation is the driving force that turns your thoughts into action. Think about what inspires you to live a sober life. What factors in your life have driven you to make this decision?

Think about that moment of clarity when you know that you are ready to stop using. Now is the time for you to make the change from addiction to recovery. Whether your life is just beginning to fall apart or you have hit rock bottom, it has become clear that you are now ready.

You have made the official decision to say goodbye to the drugs, to your addiction, and you want help. No more chaos, no more pain, and no more unhappiness. Furthermore, you want to live a sober lifestyle, to be clean and to start over. You are now ready to start fresh in a new life of sobriety.

But why? What is the motivation behind this life altering decision?

Staying sober is hard - finding your sober motivation
You can not get clean for somebody else. Staying sober is hard – do it because you want it.


Sobriety is Selfish

While in treatment, you will hear time and time again that you have to want it. You have to get clean because you want to. You can not get clean for somebody else. Do it because you want it. Let me tell you, staying sober is hard for anyone and if you are not all in, then it’s not going to work. Plain and simple. Every part of you has to want it and be ready and willing to change – mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Although, you are not your motivation. Your motivation for wanting to get sober and stay sober can come from a number of things. You need something that motivates you to change your entire life. After all, being a recovering addict instead of in active addiction is a complete lifestyle change.

Sobriety is selfish in the sense that it’s all about you, but the motivation behind wanting to be in sobriety doesn’t have to be all about you. There are many different circumstances that motivate people to begin their recovery journey. One of those reasons may also be your sober motivation.

Motivating Factors To Be Sober

  • Marriage. 
It is no secret that addiction can put a strain on your marriage. Trust is broken, infidelity may have taken place, lies, heartache, and so on. Addiction can affect a person’s marriage greatly. If addiction is the underlying problem in your marriage. Try getting clean instead of getting a divorce. It very well could be the solution to your marital strife.
  • Children. 
Not only can your addiction put a strain on your marriage but, it can hurt your children as well. Depending on your child’s age, the potential harm a child faces can traumatize a child for life. If old enough, they could become addicts themselves. In many cases, addict parents even lose custody of their children, sometimes permanently.
  • Work/Career. 
Addiction greatly affects your behavior and appearance in the workplace. It could jeopardize your job or chances for an amazing career. Once addiction deepens, many addicts can not even hold a steady job. If you are lucky enough to still be employed, try to fix the situation while it is still possible.
  • Legal. 
Unfortunately, legal issues go hand in hand with drug addiction. Addicts will commit crimes to get money for the drugs that they need. Addicts may face probation, parole, house arrest, loss of license, and even prison time. Legal issues can follow you and affect other areas of your life as well.
  • Health. 
Clearly, addiction affects your health, so needing to improve your health could easily be your motivation for getting clean. Drinking alcohol or using any illegal drugs not only diminishes your well being, but can cause you to contract diseases and destroy your body’s ability to properly function.
  • Better Life. 
All of these reasons are motivation to living a better life, but maybe the thought of a better life is the original motivation for your sobriety. While it may seem selfish to some, it’s a fabulous and justified reason. Being in recovery can and will improve every aspect of your life

The number of reasons that motivate one to be in active recovery instead of active addiction are endless. Your motivation can be one reason or all of these reasons combined. Overall, every inspirational factor leads to the ultimate motivation. The yearning to live a more desirable and fulfilling life.

Friends, family and career can be motivations to stay sober
Being in recovery can and will improve every aspect of your life

Staying Sober Is Hard, Especially In The Beginning

You take on sobriety with a driving force, an unstoppable willpower, and personal incentive. While the very beginning of your sobriety, detox, and treatment will seem difficult, you must remember that the fight of your life has just begun. Your sobriety is a never ending battle.

Staying sober is hard, very hard. Especially, during the first year. There are millions of obstacles and issues that you must face.

  • Wreckage of The Past – Your problems won’t simply disappear, you must face them accordingly.
  • Sober Lifestyle – Creating a new life. A life without the use of drugs, you need coping skills and structured support. Your dreams are now achievable in recovery. Although, to accomplish your goals, you must become productive in life and in sobriety. It requires hard work and dedication.
  • People, Places, and Things – Changing people, places, and things are crucial to your recovery. If you do the same things with the same people, in the same places. What did you change? Nothing. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results.
  • Self Discovery – Addiction has changed you for the worse, but recovery will change you for the better. Finally, you can work on finding out who you truly are. You are capable of reaching your full potential as an amazing person in recovery.

It is true, staying sober is hard. Yet, the longer you stay clean and work on your recovery. Then, the more benefits you will reap. With each step and each day, your life will improve and your motivation to stay clean will grow stronger and stronger.

Eventually, sobriety will come naturally. Fighting for your recovery with strength and courage will come from deep within you. You will not think that staying sober is hard anymore. You will be living a sober lifestyle. Living as a productive individual who is inspired, empowered, and motivated in your recovery. Even though you may think that staying sober is hard, remember, you are worth it.

We want to know what motivates you. Why did you choose recovery?. What is your sober motivation?

10 Tips For Staying Sober At Parties This Summer

10 Tips for Staying Sober At Parties In Summer
Here are some of the best tips for staying sober at parties this summer.

Summer is now here.  The sun shines all day and the nights are filled with excitement, making it the perfect time of year to socialize, entertain, and to finally let loose.  From graduation parties to backyard barbecues and neighborhood cookouts to late night bonfires, it’s time to have some fun.  Living in sobriety does not mean your social life has to end.  All it means is that your lifestyle does not involve drugs or alcohol anymore. So, we are here to help you have the best summer ever. Here are some of the best tips for staying sober at parties this summer.  No need to worry, we’ve got you covered.

Sober parties in recovery
Going to parties with your sober friends, sponsor, or other people in recovery can make a huge difference.

Whether you are going to a family reunion or on vacation to kick back and relax, you are bound to witness drinking and drugging at parties and events this summer.   That does not mean you have to participate in those activities.  Who made the rule that you have to be high in order to have fun?  You can still be the life of the party without being stoned or tipsy. In fact, you will actually remember everything that happens.  Being sober is the perfect time to make those memories that you will never forget.  Here is what you have been waiting for: the 10 best tips for staying sober at parties all summer long.    

10 Tips For Staying Sober At Parties

  1. Use The Buddy System.To make you feel more comfortable, take a friend with you.  It’s known as the buddy system.  Having a sober friend by your side can be an enormous help if you happen to get yourself in an unpleasant situation.  Not only can you hold each other accountable but, you got each other’s back just in case one of you may be tempted to do something you would later regret.
  2. People, Places, and Things.There is a valid reason for everything that you learn in addiction recovery treatment.  Especially, when they tell you to change people, places, and things.  Although, for some people changing all of those things is not even possible. Not everyone can just pick up and relocate. You may have a family of your own, kids have school, job security, and so much more.  That being said,  if you are still living in the same place, be responsible and use common sense.

    For example, don’t go to a party if a known dealer will be present.  If you are a recovering alcoholic, you should stay away from bars.  Don’t go to any place where you are certain people are going to be publicly using drugs.  This stands true for addicts in every phase of recovery. Do not put yourself in a bad situation from the beginning.  It’s a relapse waiting to happen.

  3. Designated DriverUse your sobriety responsibly.  If you are at a party and you have friends that are under the influence.  Don’t let them drive.  Name yourself the designated driver.  Not only can this save their life but, it could also save an innocent passerby from a horrific situation.  By now, everyone should know the importance of not driving while drunk or under the influence of drugs.

    If you have a friend that thinks they are above everyone else and can drive impaired.  Do your best to stop them from leaving but, don’t put yourself in jeopardy.  The people that do let you drive them home will hail you as their hero.  That is a great feeling.

  4.  Ask QuestionsI want you to think back to your childhood days for a moment. Remember, back in the day when you had to ask your parents for permission to go to a friend’s house or to a classmate’s party?  Well, I want you to approach this the exact same way.  Ask the host of the party all the questions you can think of.

    Who’s going to be there?
    Where is the event taking place?
    Will there be drinking?
    Will there be drugs?


  5. Sober Drink

    This is a simple trick to use if you are at a party that involves alcohol. People will continuously offer you a drink.  So, instead of repeating yourself all night long, try this simple trick.  Make yourself a non-alcoholic drink at the start of the party.  So, when people offer you a drink, you say “No thanks, I got one”.
    As a bonus tip, don’t let anyone get you a non-alcoholic drink, you could be in for a not so nice surprise.
  6.  Exit StrategyThis is one of the most important tips for staying sober at parties and it is essential to your recovery.  Always have an exit strategy mapped out and be ready to use it.  If you feel super uncomfortable or begin to feel triggered to use then, there is only one thing you can do.  Leave. Simply, just leave.
  7.  Be PreparedNot only do you have to have a quick exit plan ready but you need to prepare yourself.  This is another one of the most essential tips for staying sober at parties.  If you are not fully prepared for what is about to come then, you could easily relapse.  People are going to offer you drinks and possibly other substances.  If you refuse, they are going to ask why.  It is your choice if you want to explain your recovery or not. Some people will be happy for you while other’s may feel offended.  If that happens, it is best to use your exit strategy and remove yourself from the party.  If you choose to stay, people will continuously bother you with offers and questions throughout the night.
  8. New To RecoveryWithout a doubt, the first year in recovery is the hardest. Don’t set yourself up for failure or a potential relapse.  Stay focused on your main goal, your top priority, which is staying clean.  If you are at a party and you see drugs and alcohol then it’s best to immediately leave to ensure the safety of your sobriety.
  9. SupportHave your sponsor’s or a sober friend’s number on speed dial.  Call or text them if you have any urges, triggers, or feelings to discuss. Sometimes it’s nice just to hear that familiar voice of someone you know that is doing amazing things in recovery to put you back in the right state of mind.

    If the party is simply too much, then use your exit strategy and go home.  Pick up the phone and go to a meeting.  There are even meetings you can attend online.

  10. You Are Not AlonePlease remember, you are not alone.  I guarantee there will be at least one other person at the party who is not using drugs or drinking alcohol.  There are many more people in recovery than you probably realize.  Trust me, you are not the only one.


    Sober Activities for Summer
    Coming up with activities and getting creative with your sobriety can be fun and the memories will actually last forever.

    Party Sober!

It would make perfect sense to avoid these types of events altogether. Unfortunately for people in recovery, drugs and alcohol are everywhere.  People drink a glass of wine or have a beer to unwind in the evening.  Teens and young adults smoke marijuana regularly.  You could walk into a public restroom and see people using illegal substances.  You can’t spend your life hiding. Especially since you are now truly living. Implement these tips for staying sober at parties and you will stay true to your recovery.

Don’t think your life is over since you are now in recovery.  In fact, take advantage of all that sobriety has to offer.  Get a sponsor and home group.  NA and AA host tons of events and parties throughout the year. So, don’t hold back.  Most importantly, be safe and have fun. I hope these 10 tips for staying sober at parties will make this summer the best yet.  Always be prepared and you will be ready if the situation arises.

To My Loved Ones Trying to Cure My Addiction | Lake Arrowhead Recovery Center

My Loved One Is Addicted To Drugs
A Letter To My Loved Ones Trying To Cure My Addiction To Drugs

To My Loved Ones Trying To Cure My Addiction,

I know you’re trying to help with your ideas and answers to cure my addiction. I know that you mean well by your actions. I’m grateful for you standing by me, despite everything I may have put you through. I so appreciate the support you have given through my addiction and recovery.
I also know that this disease can be hard to understand. It’s the disease that I am ashamed of; a disease that comes with misconceptions and stigma. It’s not as simple as just quitting. Recovery is something I will be working on my whole life. I wish that there were a quick fix, some sort of magic wand that could make the cravings and pain go away. I wish that I could go back and change the things that led me to this place, but I can’t. There’s no way of knowing where I would be right now had I not taken that first hit. And there’s no way of knowing where I’ll go because of the path I’ve chosen.

Support for Addiction To Opiates, Alcohol, Prescriptions
My treatment is working and your support is critical. I’ll do my part and you do yours. There is no cure for my addiction, but there is full recovery.

Recovery Is My Cure for Addiction

There is no cure for this disease. There is hard work and dedication. There is recovery, but there is not a simple cure.
I’m going to have bad days and I’m going to have good days. I’ll have days where I feel like I am on top of the world, but there will be days where the pain is unbearable. There will be days filled with quiet numbness. Days where I don’t feel anything inside and I may even feel like recovery isn’t worth the work. Maybe I will freak out at times and maybe there will be times where I don’t speak to anyone all day. I’m trying to change and change always seems to be really hard for me. But I’m no longer trying to live without the ups and downs, I’m trying to learn how to live with them. I’m learning how to manage my emotions in a better way. I want to control my life without getting high. I want to spend time with my family and see my little sister grow up. I want to go to family dinners and watch Monday night football together. I want to be able to do all of these things without feeling like the odd one out or like I’m being stared at. I don’t want to have special treatment or have anyone act like I can’t handle the same things as everyone else. I am a capable adult and I can handle myself.
I don’t want you to be afraid of me or constantly worry that I might relapse. Yes, relapse is a possibility but constant reminders of what I did in the past or potentials for relapse don’t help me to not relapse. I don’t talk about the things that I have gone through to get attention. I want to help you to understand me and what I’m going through. It’s okay to ask me questions. Asking about my addiction doesn’t make me want to go out and use.

Support My Recovery
You can support my recovery best by listening, asking questions and just letting me know you are there for me regularly.

What Can You Do To Help My Recovery?

Love me unconditionally. There should never be conditions put on love. I’m going to love you even if you make a mistake, can you do the same?
Support me even on my bad days. The bad days are the days when I really need you the most. They’re the days when recovery doesn’t feel like reality. When all I want to do is stick a needle in my arm to avoid feeling. I need you to support me on these days the most. And I don’t mean support me like give me money or buy me things, I mean really support me. Ask me how I’m doing. Ask me what I need. Even if it doesn’t seem like you’re doing much, I recognize that you see me struggling and it means more than you know.
Realize that just because I talk about my addiction doesn’t mean I’m not going to maintain my recovery. I have an addiction. It’s a part of who I am now, but that doesn’t mean that it defines me. I spent a lot of my life doing things that you probably don’t understand. When I talk to you about them it’s not to scare you. I’m talking to you because I trust you and I want to help you to understand where I’ve been.

Let Yourself Trust Me Again

I know that I’ve done so many things that have hurt you. I’ve done things that I will regret for the rest of my life, but I’m trying. I want to do better but I can only do that if you let me. It’s hard to become better when I am constantly being reminded of my mistakes and that you don’t trust me. Once trust is broken it’s hard to earn back, I get that, but I want you in my life and I’m willing to put in work to make it happen.
It would be so amazing if there was a cure for my addiction, but maybe instead of trying to find one or telling me that I “just need to get over it”,  you could listen instead. Just listen to me. Maybe sit with me and listen to where I’m coming from. Put yourself in my shoes.
I want to feel safe with you. I want to be able to help you to see the darkness that has been in me and not be scared of it.
Thank you for your love and support,